By the Grace of G-d10th of Adar I, 5727 Brooklyn, N.Y.

Greeting and Blessing:

I just received your letter of Erev Shabbat. I must say that I was greatly surprised at the initial lines of your letter, wherein you state that you received my letter with pain, because I did not consider it a suitable shidduch for you with Miss. The reason I was surprised at your attitude is that my complete disapproval of the shidduch is not only in the interest of the young lady in question, but no less and perhaps even more, not in your interest also. Obviously, in a shidduch, if one of the partners is unhappy about it, it could not be a good thing for the other and it is motivation to spare you both from an unwise decision which must necessarily affect the whole future of both of you.

Since you asked my opinion about it, I can only reiterate that it is my considered opinion that you need quite a different type of wife, one who would be more mature and nearer your age. There are also other important considerations, some of which may favor either of you, but not both together. Suffice it to mention by way of illustration, that meat is a good thing by itself and milk is also a good thing by itself, but the combination of the two is not a suitable thing.

Needless to say I appreciate your sentiments, namely that you feel a debt of gratitude to her for the help she had given you and that therefore you consider it your duty to reciprocate at a time when you think she needs you. Equally commendable is your concern for her as to how it might affect her if the shidduch is not to materialize. However, precisely because of this concern, you should bear in mind that a shidduch is not a temporary thing, but one that is for life and therefore it must not be motivated by any feeling of pity and the like; rather must it be based on a deep inner feeling of compatibility and of being able to complement each other and help each other in the daily life ahead. But, as already mentioned, in your case, she is not the type of wife that can fulfill this vital function and also insofar as she is concerned, it is also completely unsuitable for her.

I also believe that she has for the present to be left undisturbed and undistracted in her efforts to fortify herself in her new status and to gain the necessary knowledge and training. There is no need to elaborate on this obvious point. I trust therefore, that you will not allow yourself to be swayed by a state of mind which undoubtedly is a passing phase, to make any step which becomes binding and is difficult to retract, etc.

May G-d, Whose benevolent Providence extends to each and every one individually, help you soon to find your truly suitable zivug, so that you will settle down to the proper way of life, with true happiness materially and spiritually.

With blessing,