By the Grace of G-d 18th of Adar I, 5730 Brooklyn, N.Y.

Greeting and Blessing:

I was pleased to receive your letter in which you write about the forthcoming wedding of your sister.

I was particularly gratified to read in your letter that your sister has agreed to make the necessary preparation for her marriage, as befits a Jewish daughter, namely in regard to Taharat Hamishpacha. This gives me the confident hope, as also expressed in your letter, that she will continue in this direction and establish an observant Jewish home.

I already had occasion before to emphasize, and at length, the significance of the text of the blessings under the chuppah, as instituted by the Men of the Great Assembly. I am particularly referring to the expression Binyan Adei Ad — “An everlasting edifice.” This means that marriage in Jewish life is the beginning of a new life, a new “edifice,” which is to be lasting and perpetuated through children and further offspring, etc. When a physical structure is being established, surely its strength and durability will entirely be dependent upon the strength and durability of its foundations. And in regard to a foundation clearly, external matters are of no consequence, nor is it important what other people might think of the appearance of the foundation. The essential thing is that the foundation should be made of the best materials, which have been tested and tried and have proved strong and durable to withstand all kinds of shocks or corrosion, etc. Even in regard to the structure itself, any normal and logical person will disregard what a neighbor might think if it concerns a matter which is of vital importance to the proprietor, or his family.

The analogy is clear: anyone who has studied Jewish history without prejudice or preconceived ideas, must come to the conclusion that the basis and foundation of our Jewish people has always been our adherence to the Torah and mitzvos in our daily life, as is written, “For these are our very life and the length of our days.” Those Jews who, throughout the ages, kept the Torah and mitzvos, were able to overcome and survive the assaults of a hostile world, whereas those who deviated from the way of the Torah and mitzvos, beginning with the Golden Calf worshippers at Mt. Sinai and the various dissident groups in later generations to the present day, have been faced with a clear choice: either return to the Jewish fold, or be engulfed by the surrounding world.

Certainly when it comes to a period in one’s life when the foundations have to be laid for the whole future married family life, there should be no reservations whatever in making the proper resolutions, as mentioned above. It should be firmly resolved to observe all the mitzvos, especially those relating to Taharas Hamishpacha in all detail and if this seems difficult at first, surely any difficulty is negligible in comparison to the benefits that are derived through compliance with the Jewish laws and regulations that govern Jewish family life, benefits for the husband, for the wife, for the children and their offspring, etc. benefits both material and spiritual.

I trust that you will find the way, both personal and through friends, to convey to your sister the thoughts expressed above, through words coming from the heart which penetrate the heart and are eventually effective. Indeed, I hope that no extraordinary effort will be necessary in this case, and both the bride and bridegroom will firmly resolve to establish their home on the foundations of the Torah and mitzvos in the fullest measure. G-d, Who looks into the heart, on seeing their sincere resolution, will help them carry it out and will bestow upon them His blessings in a most generous measure, that their marriage truly be a Binyan Adei Ad in the fullest sense.

With best wishes for Mazel Tov the occasion of the forthcoming marriage and hoping to hear good news in regard to the above.

With blessing,

P.S. Needless to say, I am well aware of the question how is it that some people who evidently so not observe the Jewish way (Taharas Hamishpacha, etc.), nevertheless seem to live satisfactorily, while some people who do observe the laws seem to have more than their fair share of problems? There are several explanations, but basically they are as follows: Firstly, G-d is kind and patient and therefore does not enforce retribution immediately, but waits for the sinner to so teshuvo and teshuvo is effective, except when one uses it as an excuse for sin, telling himself that he will sin now and repent later and be forgiven. Secondly, and is also essential, many people try to cover up the effects of non-observance of Taharas Hamishpacha — such as marital disharmony, strife and other problems, G-d forbid. It is too painful a subject to elaborate on, but I hope it is not necessary in this case.

P.P.S. You may, of course, show this letter to anyone where you think it can serve a useful purpose.