By the Grace of G-d4th of Adar II, 5733Brooklyn, N.Y

Greeting and Blessing:

I am in receipt of your letter and previous correspondence.

You write about a young lady who became frum recently and is about to get married, but in view of her previous background it is possible that her attitude on the question of chastity was not in accord with the Torah, as unfortunately is the case with some students in the campuses and college dormitories. Therefore, you ask if some special changes are called for in the form of her ketuba, etc.

What is even more important in her case is to ascertain if her past intimate relationship requires anything to be done from the viewpoint of the Shulchan Aruch to straighten things out so as no to leave any loose ends. This is a matter for consultation with a proper Rabbinic authority who paskens shaalos, which is not within my sphere of activity.

Needless to say, every Rov treats such a case in strict confidence, so that all the pertinent details could be given to him, which are necessary for him to know in order to give the right decision.

I suggest therefore that the young lady, preferably together with her fiancé, should see a qualified Rabbinic authority. The best thing would be to make an appointment with such a Rov through the Union of Orthodox Rabbis (Agudas Harabonim). If this would entail a visit to New York City, it would be worth while to obtain a decision from such an authority. And although they may suggest an authority closer to her place, I would not recommend it. Indeed, from the viewpoint of confidentiality, it would be preferable to see a Rov not in a nearby town, but rather in New York.

If the communication is by phone with the President of Agudas Harabonim, there is no need to go into detail over the phone, except to say it is about an important shaalah. But if he should wish to refer the matter to a colleague, it would be well to mention that the shaalah concerns Chuppah and Kiddushin, so that it would be referred to one who specializes in this area of halocho.

With blessing,

P.S. I would like to add that inasmuch as the case concerns a baalas-teshuvo it is advisable to make the earliest possible appointment, since the occasion could be used to obtain general directives and guidance from the rov in matters of Yiddishkeit, setting up the Jewish home, etc., for a truly happy future.