By the Grace ofG-d 20th of Elul, 5740Brooklyn, N. Y.

Greeting and Blessing:

Your letter of Aug. 26th reached me with some delay. In it you ask for some advice to help you to order your everyday life properly.

There is surely no need to point out to you that to help someone does not mean that one must necessarily encourage him to do as he sees fit. The proper advice can only be if it is based on the best knowledge of the situation in which the party asking for advice finds himself, as the person giving the advice sees fit.

Secondly, it is quite clear that every individual is a separate case, and may need a special approach and special advice. However, there are aspects which are common to all or most people, regardless how they differ, especially those belonging to the same people, that has been given the same Torah, and live in the same country and era.

In light of the above, it is my conviction that the first condition for a Jew to achieve peace of mind, inner tranquility and a meaningful and purposeful life is to order his everyday life and conduct in accordance with the Torah, Toras Chaim, and the actual fulfillment of the Mitzvoth. And although G-d’s Torah and Mitzvoth have to be adhered to for their own sake, as Divine imperatives, these are also the channels to receive G-d’s blessings in all needs.

If the person finds himself in a city or environment, in which he finds it difficult to adjust himself to, and carry out, the above in actual practice, then there are two answers to this. Either it is an indication that that person has been endowed with special capacities to overcome the difficulties, and only needs to make a special effort to mobilize these capacities, or, sometimes more likely, it may be necessary for him to change his environment to one in which he could carry out the above without undue difficulties.

The above is, as mentioned, common to every Jew and all Jews.

Specifically in your case, to the best of my knowledge, and as is also evident from your letter, it is my considered opinion that to go to a Yeshiva to study for a lengthy period of time, or, l’havdil, to go to college, is entirely unsuitable for you, since I believe that you ought to think of a suitable Parnosso, including one that may require some training, but not over a period of years, but rather of several months, if it requires attending special courses, etc.

While I do not recommend to you Yeshiva study on a full-time basis, it is necessary for you, as for all Jews, to have regular study periods for Torah, and, in order that it should be with more Hatzlocho, to have them in Chavruso, or joining a public Shiur.

Upon settling down with a Parnosso, as above, you should start seriously looking for a suitable Shidduch.

With regard to your writing that people do not want to help you, etc. - I do not know on what basis you say this. But, to repeat, help does not mean to support your thinking, but to state an objective opinion.

As we are now approaching Rosh Hashono, I send you prayerful wishes for a Kesivo vachasimo Tovo, for a good and sweet year, including good news in all above.

With blessing, 

M Schneerson