By the Grace of G-d 17th of Tevet, 5740 Brooklyn, N.Y.
Miss
Blessing and Greeting:
This is in reply to your letter which reached me with considerable delay.
As I have often emphasized and it is a matter of common knowledge, intermarriage is a disaster from every point of view for both parties concerned. Indeed, if there is a true feeling towards one another, neither party should permit a situation involving the other in such a disaster, whatever the motivation may be.
As for the possibility of the other party converting and embracing the Jewish religion, surely such a conversion can have validity only if it comes out of the deepest religious conviction and not for any other ulterior motive, which would make the conversion only a mockery and a tool to satisfy a personal craving.
The above is also in reply to the motivation you mention to the effect that by converting he would enhance his life, etc. The fact is that the result would be just the opposite, for it could only be a tragedy, G-d forbid.
With regard to the question of having the personal strength to do the right thing, it is well to remember that the Creator and Master of the world, Who is the Giver of the Torah and mitzvos, does not impose upon anyone a task which is beyond one's capacity and since the Torah and mitzvos is very clear in regard to such a situation, it is certain that G-d has provided the necessary strength to carry out G-d's directives and imperatives, so that in the final analysis it is a matter of one's own will and determination. Indeed, if one encounters a particularly difficult situation, it is in itself evidence that that person has been endowed with particular strength to overcome it – a test that could not have been given to a weaker person. In this case, the person facing the test has an additional challenge and opportunity to bring into effect the special G-d-given capacities to live up to G-d's Will.
May G-d grant that you should act in accordance with the directives of our Torah, Toras Emes, which means that you should dismiss from your mind any idea of a mockery conversion, as mentioned above, and make a complete break with the whole situation and G-d will surely bless you with hatzlocho in this as well as in all your needs.
With blessing,
Notes and sources
Published: The Letter and the Spirit, Vol 5 (Nissan Mindel Publications, 2019), 102.
Note: Letters printed in "The Letters and The Spirit" are from the Archives of Rabbi Nissan Mindel A"H, the Rebbe's personal secretary entrusted with writing up the Rebbe's orally dictated responses. The “Nissan Mindel Archives” are comprised of secretarial copies, including first drafts, and may have subsequently been published with editorial changes. Therefore the letters as they appear in the book may not be the final signed version.