By the Grace of G-d24th Elul, 5737 Brooklyn, N.Y.

Greeting and Blessing:

I received your correspondence and enclosures.

To begin with the essential point and after some introductory remarks:

Our G-d-given Torah is called Toras Chayim because it is the Jew’s true guide in life in all aspects of the everyday life, not to mention when it comes to a vitally important decision; it is also called Toras Chesed, because when a Jew conducts his life in accordance with its teachings it is certain to bring him true benefits and all good, even if he cannot see it at first.

One of the teachings of our Torah is that a person should not live alone, but should find himself a suitable wife. This applies also to one who, as in your case, is a widower. And since this is a Divine commandment, it is certain that G-d helps to carry it out.

Incidentally, this explains why certain persons may sometimes find it harder to follow the teachings of the Torah - because the yetzer hora tries to prevent a Jew from doing the right thing, especially as in the present case, where finding the right wife and setting up a true Jewish home, in which hospitality and other mitzvos would be practiced in cooperation with a real Yiddisher Baleboste, and Akeres Habayis, would be a stronghold of Yiddishkeit, much to the yetzer hora’s chagrin.

With regard to the matter you mention of having once, in a moment of stress, promised that you would not remarry, this is no basis for going against the Torah, and the Torah itself provides a way of rescinding such a pledge (if there was one) by explaining to a Rabbi the circumstances. The Torah gives a Rabbi the authority to rescind a pledge which was made under certain conditions.

It is further significant in your case that through Hashgacha Pratit (Divine Providence) you have met a fine Jewish woman who, as you write, inspired you and influenced you to visit the Holy Land.

In light of the above it is clear what your decision should be and with a view to its earliest implementation.

As for certain regrettable things which, as you write, are depressing and discouraging you - on the contrary, the wrongdoings of the past should make you all the more eager to live up more fully to the Torah and mitzvos in the future, for the way to atone any wrongdoing is to do more good henceforth and one of the first in this direction is to settle down as a family man in accordance with the Torah, as stated above.

All this is really self-evident and I mention it here only to emphasize that you should do it joyfully and with gladness of heart, since this would also be an atonement for the past. And if all mitzvos must be fulfilled with joy, how much more so the mitzvah of marrying and setting up a truly Jewish home, that would be an inspiration to others.

A final and important point: When a widow or widower marries a second time, far from it being a disloyalty to the deceased partner is rather a source of gratification to the departed soul which is in the World of Truth and knows the truth - that by remarrying, the surviving erstwhile partner fulfills a Divine commandment. It would be a source of distress to the soul if the memory of her stood in the way of a Jew’s fulfillment of a mitzvah, and such an important one. Thus, cherishing the memory of a departed spouse should by no means discourage marrying again. On the contrary, it would gratify and elevate the soul.

Now that we are in the threshold of a new year, when G-d renews His blessings to all, may G-d grant that your mazel should be renewed in all your affairs, especially the above, with G-d’s special blessing to materialize it in a happy and auspicious hour.

Wishing you a Kesivo va’Chasimo Toivo,

With blessing,