By the Grace of G-d 4th of Tammuz, 5735 Brooklyn, N.Y.

Blessing and Greeting:

I am in receipt of your letter in which you wrote about a change in your outlook and observance of Yiddishkeit because you find it stifling, restraining you from being yourself, etc.

This came as a surprise to me, since your previous correspondence did not indicate the need to explain to you some basic points which should be self-evident, as follows:

To begin with, what would you say of a person, not necessarily Jewish, who comes out with a declaration that henceforth he will renounce adherence in all his daily life and conduct to the minimum standards of ethics and morality, the so-called Seven Laws Given to the Descendents of Noach, which are (together with their ramifications) the foundation of human society. As reason for this disclaimer, the person cites the fact that adhering to the said norms stifles him and inhibits him from doing as he pleases, without restraints and without compunction.

Clearly such an attitude runs counter to human decency, distorts the very essence of the person as a human being and suppresses his true human qualities. Far from helping him be himself or herself, it would do the opposite.

Within humanity at large, Jews have been singled out as a nation and given — in addition to the Seven Mitzvos — all the other mitzvos of the Torah, all of which are closely related to Jewish essence and identity. Could a Jew in all conscience say that since adherence to these mitzvos limits his “freedom” to act as he pleases, he will simply disregard them? Obviously, this would not help him be true to his real self and would only distort and suppress his true qualities.

There is no contradiction in what has been said above to the fact that there are some Jews who, for one reason or another, might for a time feel a sense of euphoria in not being observant, just as in the first illustration a gentile might feel "free" by casting aside the Seven Noachide Laws of ethics and morality which would restrict his self-indulgence.

Herein is also a reply to those who claim that they do not want to be “hypocritical” by observing the laws of the Shulchan Aruch without feeling or conviction. The contrary is true; it would be hypocritical for a Jew to let his conduct be influenced by external impulses rather than be prompted by his true essence and his true inner feelings.

If the above is true, it may be asked, how is it that there are people who should know better, yet who do not act in a way that is true to their real self? The explanation of this, as of everything else, is found in our Torah, Toras Chayim on various levels. The simplest is that the Yetzer Hara is a crafty seducer. He will not tell a basically decent person to disregard a moral law in order to satisfy a craving for its own sake, since every honorable person would see the folly of it and reject it outright. Instead, the Yetzer Hara will tell the person that to suppress his natural desires is bad for his self-development and inhibits his personality, etc. Hence he should not involve himself in a way of life that is restrictive, etc. it is only in such and similar ways that the Yetzer Hara has a chance to confuse a person and turn him off, etc.

Needless to say, it is a basic moral duty, even for non-Jews, to help a person in need. For Jews, this duty comes under the great mitzvah of v’ohavto lre’acho komocho, the Great Principle (“Golden Rule”) of the Torah. Clearly, this includes the duty to help a fellow-Jew who finds it hard to cope with the temptations of the Yetzer Hora. It is certain also that while the person in need of such help may not be aware of his predicament, or may even resent what he or she may consider an “intrusion” into their personal life, but eventually that person will come to be profoundly grateful to the one who had helped him in his hour of need.

It is self-evident from the above what should be your reaction to the person whom you mention in your letter. Her only motivation is her dedication to helping Jewish girls to live up, as fully as possible, to the way of life which is fitting for daughters of Sarah, Rivkah, Rochel and Leah, the saintly Mothers of our people, by observing in their daily life and conduct both the duties of man to G-d as well as of man to man.

I trust that the above lines will suffice to help you see things in their right perspective with some insight - if you will only reflect on what has been said above, open-mindedly and without prejudice.

With blessing,